Remember, all of your therapy depends on trust between all parties involved. If you are not comfortable with your therapist or feel that the therapist has set unrealistic performance goals for you, you may want talk to another therapist or talk to him/her about the goals set.
Make sure you get a Referral
Start by consulting your family physician, gynecologist or urologist and ask for a referral to a sex therapist your doctor has used confidently in the past.
When you call or meet your new sex therapist for the first time, be sure to ask questions about qualifications, experience and the cost of their service. You should also make sure you find out if they have a specialty rather than simply saying you have some form of sexual problem and asking for help.
The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) is the largest national group that certifies sex educators, sex counselors and sex therapists, so you can contact them for assistance as well. You should even get a list of names and business addresses of the certified professionals in your area by writing AASECT. To find your local office, just google them and you can get started.
Solving your Sex Issues
Keep in mind that you will be having conversations of a very sexually explicitly and detailed manner. You cannot solve sexual problems by avoiding the issue and its almost impossible to be "polite" in this area. Further you will be unable to gain new understanding unless the new sexual information are clear, direct instruction.
Second remember it is your right to decline or postpone acting on the suggestions of your therapist, rather than allowing yourself to be pushed into behavior which might actually increase your discomfort. Make sure that you talk with your therapist and that both of you understand how comfortable you are with what they are asking of you. Make sure that every assignment, or experience presented by the therapist is easy to understand and something you find acceptable.
Remember, unless your therapist is a licensed physician wishing to conduct a physical examination, you will not be asked to disrobe in front of your therapist. Sexual contact between client and therapist is considered unethical and is destructive to the therapeutic relationship. Further you will never have to perform sexually with your partner in the presence of your therapist. Basically no sexual activities should not occur in your therapist's presence. Even though the talk, material and the assignments are sexual and at times bluntly explicit, your therapist will just talk with you, never "do" with you.
Keep in mind sex therapy is a new, dynamic approach to very real human problems. It is based on the assumptions that sex and relationships are good, that human interaction should be meaningful, and that interpersonal intimacy is a desirable goal. This is a very sensitive area for most, but a good sex therapist can help you through your problems. |
